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My then-boyfriend and I wanted to extend the wisdom of the weekend so we bought a book there about dating to read together.
I don't even remember what it was called — something about dating and integrity, I think — but it had a bright green cover so we referred to it as "The Green Book."Our motives were good — and I think the motives of the author of The Green Book were, too. After telling us to view, treat, and honor people of the opposite sex as brothers and sisters in Christ (a paradigm we could buy), The Green Book laid out a plan in which you don't really date, but find a best friend of the opposite sex by hanging out in groups. — one day the guy of this best-friend relationship asks the woman to be his bride and they live happily ever after (that is, after the guy picks the girl up off the floor because she's broadsided by his proposal! According to the book, one-on-one relationships are a no-no, as is any kind of physical contact. )Well, as you can imagine, my then-boyfriend and I already had a one-on-one relationship.
There are no easy answers here — whether it's kissing dating goodbye, following some "Rules," or adopting any other 1-2-3 formula for relational success — there's only a God who desperately desires for each and every one of us to be in an intimate relationship with him.
I understand it's difficult to remain pure in our sex-saturated society.
Maybe some hand holding — but only after you're engaged. And we'd not only held hands before betrothal, we'd actually kissed. So what had started as a quest to honor God in our dating relationship, led only to an overwhelming sense of confusion and guilt (for things we weren't quite sure why we should feel guilty).