My mom is dating an alcoholic
Many of you who were raised by a parent who was addicted to alcohol can testify to the nightmare that it brought to your family.
One of the first things I do when couples see me for counseling is to evaluate them for drug and alcohol addiction.
I have tried before, but he never would agree to it, and I'm afraid if we don't do it now, he might not be willing again. Although they would work if applied, my concepts and methods are very difficult to apply to your situation.
We have three children, the youngest being 18, and I had hoped that maybe we could somehow grow back together when the demands of children weren't such a priority. In every marriage, spouses should take each other's feelings into account whenever a decision is made.
If your drinking in any form bothers your spouse, and you cannot or will not give it up for his or her sake, I consider you an alcoholic because alcohol is more important to you than the feelings of your spouse.
If the addicted spouse refuses treatment, then I direct the unaddicted spouse to Alanon or some other support group for spouses of alcoholics. That's what I learned to do after discovering that an alcoholic is so much in love with alcohol, that while in the state of addiction, there is no way for them to consider their spouse's feelings whenever they make decisions, a necessary condition for a great marriage.