Major relationship changes, and the sub-changes that come with them, should never be unilateral decisions, and your right to weigh in on how your relationship functions doesn’t disappear once you agree to open it up.This is all to say that it doesn’t sound like your girlfriend is super invested in your happiness or the health of your relationship, and is more interested in adjusting your relationship such that she’s technically “allowed” to do whatever she wants while still having you as a girlfriend.But it doesn’t seem like your girlfriend really checked in on that first point.
If your girlfriend had initiated a conversation rather than a declaration, and said “I’m interested in seeing this guy at work; what do you think?
” in good faith, you could have brought up your (extremely valid! And something could have been figured out, maybe a lot of pain could have been averted and we could all be having a picnic right now. Even though we live in the real world, and there will be times when at least one of those things has to take a hit, that should never be business as usual.
The fact that your girlfriend hasn’t seemed interested in these latter necessary conversations sucks, and I’m really sorry. It’s really, really awful to feel like your partner is only concerned about themselves, and the life you’ve built together is an afterthought.
She explains: 'Holding hands is as far as I would ever take anything.
'I let it slip one time at work that I’m an asexual aromantic [an asexual who is also not interested in making romantic attachments], and they think it’s absolutely hysterical,’ says Jean Wilson, a sales assistant and 63-year-old grandmother from Banbury.'I love him to bits, he’s my best friend, but I don’t have a sexual attraction to him.It’s not clear from your question how you responded, but it doesn’t sound at all like these were decisions that were being made with your participation.