Cybersex hookup forum
At times I feel “his feelings” almost more than my own and I wonder if I have lost myself to this person. Especially when I start feeling like I just want to go back to him and pretend none of this ever happened. In therapy he is apologetic and is saying the right things, but, as always, it doesn’t feel authentic to me. I can’t believe he thought so little of me that he would put my LIFE in danger by having sex with prostitutes. He’s now saying he’s a sex addict – that he’s been dealing w compulsive porn use for twenty years, “only rarely” surfs escort sites and “even more rarely” actually had sex w prostitutes. And in twenty years there have “only” been six (now it’s six, by the way) prostitutes. I’ve asked for transparency for us to move forward but I don’t think I’m getting it and don’t know if I ever will OR if he is being honest, if I’d be able to tell.
It feels like he read some manual about what he’s supposed to say and do and that’s what he’s doing. I am desperate for support, for insights from those who have been through this, are going through it, are working to come out on the other side.
I had become suspicious of him years ago when he received an overly friendly text from a co worker when his phone went off while he was in the shower.
He played it off as nothing – they’d had lunch a few times, gone out w others for drinks (outings to which I was never invited, about which I was never told). After we were married and when I was pregnant w our first child, I looked on one of his social sites and found another overly familiar message sent to an old female friend in which he talked about how great it was to chat w her until 3am the night before. When I confronted him, he again said it was innocent and didn’t seem to understand why I was upset but agreed to stop messaging people on this site.
A few years later when we were moving, I found a stash of porn DVDs – close to a hundred – and asked him about it.
He said to just throw them away – he had just used them while we were living apart for a year prior to marrying.
It seemed like an excessive number of discs to me, but I let it go, comforted by the fact that he would agree to throw them away so readily. I had become suspicious for various reasons and looked at the cookies and cache on his computer (he always erased his browser history and would turn the computer away from me if I was nearby).
I found dozens of porn sites, but more disturbing were the ten-twenty escort sites, match dot com profile, and email accounts under an alias I didn’t know he had.
Die Pornoindustrie leidet verdammt unter Malware auf Gratisseiten und wir supporten das einfach nicht.(So gut wie alle Paysites und gratis Seiten, bei denen es Sinn macht, vorher ein paar Zeilen darüber zu lesen).